Healing the parent child relation.
after the previous articles, no matter how hopeless it sounds, the adolescent children particular as they mature to adulthood, can come around to forgive their parents. If the parent was abusive when the child was younger, then just a simple sorry will not help.
Though Hypnotherapy and Family constellation both help us resolve these issues, I have used this in my clinic by healing the inner child, there are other ways too. It begins with
Trying to understand despite of being convinced that we have done nothing, there is something in our behaviour that the child has perceived. After all, the parent is the most omnipotent figure in the child’s life. Listening is the first step.
Don’t be defensive – even a whiff of self righteousness can disturb the equation.
Writing out an apology may work the child will be able to read it over and over again. Till it becomes acceptable.
If you have made a mistake then accept it.
If your child wants to continue the war, particular if the child is adolescent or young adult do not engage. Make it clear the war is over the child is still angry but in the long run it prevents you from saying hurtful things and it also sends the message that you want to peace.
Find an intermediary to send the olive branch. The child maybe more receptive to hear from someone else. This is a double edged sword, the surrogate make act as the lightening rod for the rage.
It takes a lot to bring things back to normal. Counselling and therapy may be required. Like I said, there various modes available once we acknowledge that we are dealing with the issue of a abusive child. the most important thing to do will be not give up on child and to continuously stay connected.