Venugopal my coach at the Landmark education forum kept telling us that it was all in the words. During one of the exercises my class fellow kept telling “I don’t want this, I don’t want that my daughter XYZ complaint, ” Venu gave her a patient hearing, and then told her ”Jo I get it that you don’t want XYZ in your life, but can you articulate what would you want in your life.” Now that really foxed her.
A friend of mine, who got sick of her Mother-in-law picking on her for not measuring up, came up with this idea she took a stamp paper—albeit the cheapest one, and gave it her mother-in-law, and told her please write down
- What do you expect from me?—If you say respect—what is your concept of respect?
- What do you want from me?
She was very clear that this was an information gathering activity and did not promise compliance. It four years now, the stamp paper is blank and mother-in-law does not create a fuss.
That is what affirmation is about, the dictionary defines
It as the act or an instance of affirming, state of being affirmed.
The assertion that something exists or is true.
Something that is affirmed – a statement or proposition that is declared to be true
Confirmation or ratification of truth or validity of a prior judgement.
Some Examples Of Affirmations Are:
- I love and appreciate myself just the way I am.
- I accept all my feelings as part of me.
- I love to love and be loved.
However affirmations tend to get energized only when certain rules are followed.
- Affirmations should always be in present tense. That is “I have a wonderful new job”
- Positive way focusing on what you want.
- Sometimes negative phrasing may help”I do not have to get stressed out to achieve the task.” But it should be followed by a positive one immediately.
- Short simple affirmations work better.
- All affirmations are totally personalized what works for me need not work for you.
- Affirmations do not change or fix situation, it is a fresh start.
- Affirmations cannot contradict or change your feeling, it can help to face and move on. it changes the reaction that the feeling creates.
- When one works on the conclusion that the affirmation is true, and experiences the outcome, the affirmation works better.
When we talk of affirmations working we are talking with the understanding of Being-doing-having, which are the three aspects of life. But for the affirmation to work in the context of being-doing-having there is another very important ingredient that is the intention.
The intention stands on three-point again. Desire—do I really want this? I am will to go through the implications and outcome. The belief—that the goal will be achieved, in the manner that it was visualized. Acceptance – am I willing to let it happen? Will I carry it through with conviction and dedication?
This is where most of are not willing to take a stand.