Morning pages change a great deal in life.
When I started it was to help me sort my real feelings from my official one. I have not; I presumed that it was because I was not going there. But my friend philosopher and guide Asma D’souza who is a life coach asked me are there, not just write three pages. Over the weekend I figured I will begin my morning pages with the question how am I feeling? Since I was particularly disturbed over the weekend as I had cleaned up my wardrobe.
What came across was I tended to think I am okay, but I was not, there were issues. Another friend who is doing this experiment said she figured she was bored with herself!! What an epiphany. Yes once we do figure these things we can set about making changes.
Working through the morning pages the changes have been interesting. The sense of vagueness that I had has reduced and of the epiphany of clarity not yet achieved. Though I know Dilli dur nahi hai.
Discoveries are interesting I do not know who I am, but now I am aware that I am no longer in a stupor. I find myself tossing so many things that I hoarded things like clothes, paper cuttings, old toys and god knows what else. This tossing out is accompanied by a sense of loss, grief and anger, after which there is tremendous lightness.
When we work with the creator within us to heal we do not really acknowledge the change. It might seem eccentric or sometimes destructive! Night dreams linger, we catch our day dreams, soliloquy, and unexpected things crop up. My comfortable clothes are no more comfortable. Though I am no longer stuck, I do not know where I am going either, but yes the path seems easier to find. There has been emotional exhaustion, tiredness, but there are has been refreshing catharsis.
like Sanaya Roman put it all you need to receive guidance is to ask for it and then listen.
I then decided to look at my morning pages as my conversation with God, where I am willing to listen and to be led. This has transformed a mundane exercise into an inspiring and exciting journey. The center that I cannot find i realize is known to my mind.
I have part of the page as affirmations, that help me grow.
As I am willing to change and make efforts I see a kriya popping up, I feel a migraine coming on, a headache before an unattainable deadline.
Some of my favourite affirmations are:
- I receive your good willingly
- Thy will be done
- A stronger and clearer me is emerging
- I recover and enjoy my identity.