A Virtuous Reality


We are so scared of that our powerful possibility bestows on us, that we would rather get anorexic about it.

Traditionally we are proud of ourselves for having slipped creative work in between domestic chores and obligation. I am not really sure we deserve such a big A+ for that.

I have been brought up a mother to whom watching the television or relaxing doing nothing was a crime. She had to solve crossword until she dropped off to sleep.  She instilled the same value into me and to the date she ensures that it is reinforced.

I had to be unselfish, put my kids, husband, house, socially acceptable career and then take a rest if time permitted. This happened at the cost of my creative energy and I resented it somewhere along the way. I realized that I actually felt like a cornered rat.

It was not that I was not productive or creative but it was incomplete, and I always felt like a fraud if someone complimented me then it rang false.

Early days it “I wish I could kill you” when people infringed into my space, gradually over the years it has been replaced by “I wish I were dead.”

The pay off for this squeeze my personal passion is so high, I get to call myself considerate in self-flattering moments and victim during me pity moments. To many of this trap of creative anorexia helps we feel spiritually superior as we are good and considerate.  I call this the “Joan of Arc syndrome”

But the bottom-line is we are in a state of denial. We are not inspired by the encore, simply because the artist has absconded from the crime scene after being stifled.

Our need to appear unselfish is so great, we become self ‘less’ and seriously self destructive. Saying no to someone would me saying yes to me, and that is a responsibility we are petrified to accept.

Try this question

Am I self destructive? The answer is a prompt NO

Now rephrase it—Am I nice, considerate and helpful— is there an epiphany?

Remember there are some risks you cannot afford to take, and some risks you cannot afford not to take.—Peter Drucker.


5 thoughts on “A Virtuous Reality

  1. Its so true. I completely believe that we should not wrong anyone and be there in the hour of need, but that does not mean we need to lose ourselves just to prove to the world we’re selfless and great.

    Unless and until we will not be happy inside, how can we make a difference in someone else’s life or make them happy.

  2. I fully agree with you I am myself a creative person but then there are other things which one wants to do & due to time ./work load /home /kids professorial work things are in away pushed under the carpet to retrieve sometime ”-when there is time” & as all knows there never is time ”which will come & say to you here i am now do what you want”
    Many years later one realizes the futility of waiting for time TIME & TIDE WAITS FOR NO MAN Though we realize this all the time we still do nothing about it perhaps as we are too tired after we finish all the chores to be done for the day-& push it under the carpet for another day Life thus goes on
    Now after so many years when i have time for myself I feel I am ”burnt out” with none or a flimsy urge to do all the things i want to do .
    though never the less there is still a ”spark”which makes me do some of the things I intended to do.
    I have become complacent now & realize now that i have put in the best at the time it was needed So in a way no regrets i am at peace now & intend using the ”sparks ” i get now & then to do all the things i had ever wanted to do

    • Dear Shammi….You are telling a story of my life in part, your life and millions of other women. I reveled in the manner in which U expressed your tale. It made my spark shine brighter. May we all have the courage and determination to BE SELFISH FOR OUR SANITY!
      Way to go, Girl!

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